One foot in front of the other

If there's anything I've learned lately, it's progress over perfection. The last year of my life has been one of the most challenging yet informative times thus far and that lesson has been drilled into my brain daily. Trying to keep up with normal life stuff along with managing depression hasn't been easy. Like I've said before, I'm more prone to melancholy than I am to happiness, and that melancholy makes it incredibly exhausting to get through the days. Some of these past few months, I was so debilitated by anxiety and depression, that all I did was sleep through the day, so I didn't have to be awake to feel what I was feeling. That put me so far behind in work that I am still paying for it and playing catch up. I finally got a therapist a few months back to try to figure out a better solution, but I'm still left to clean up the mess I've made with my work and life. I have usually been pretty good about completing projects in a timely manner, but honestly this year it has been a struggle. Even though I know it's unprofessional and makes me look terrible, I'm only human and make mistakes and have to learn lessons as they come. I also know I can't make everyone happy even though I'm working to make up for the lost time, but I am doing my absolute best to right all the wrongs. I'm slowly making progress, one foot in front of the other, even if it takes me a while. I actually just finished writing a song about this recently that I'm extremely proud of and excited to release because I think it has the power to help a lot of people. But it talks about how we have to rebuild and create ourselves from the ground up even when we have no clue how things will turn out. It's all unknown and scary as hell but we end up better regardless. I'm so incredibly proud of myself for how far I've come in the last few months from where I was to where I'm at now. Definitely not where I'd like to be but headed in the right direction with laser focus. I haven't been dating at all or going out lately and eliminating distractions which has helped. The most helpful thing recently was having the apartment to myself to really concentrate on work, which now is at the top of my goal list. I 100% work more efficiently when I have my space to myself and amazingly, I was able to get 4 of the projects that I was behind on completed which is unheard of for me but was such a weight lifted off my shoulders. I still have many more to catch up on while making progress every single day and becoming more and more the person I want to be and hold myself accountable to, but at least I am aware and taking the steps necessary. I know I am the only one who can fix everything that isn't working or broken, so it's up to me to continue forward, never looking back. If you're struggling too, just know that it just takes courage to really look at yourself and see what is flawed BUT you are totally capable, even when it doesn't feel like it.


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